thedailywhat:

Found Thing of the Day: Spotted in Portland, OR.

I lost a girl to a third grader once. It hurt for a while but then she went to prison for solicitation of a minor and my mood improved considerably.

[via.]

TRANSCRIPT:

Dear Arriana,

I’m jealous of Matt.  Why can’t you love me?  Matts in the third grade for petes sake.

Please reply in private.

Love, Jeremy